Γιατί οι Πόντιοι στο σινεμά διαλέγουν τα τελευταία καθίσματα;

Γιατί γελάει καλύτερα όποιος γελάει τελευταίος!

Ήταν κάποτε ένας Ιταλός ένας Ισπανός και ένας Πόντιος και τους λένε θα πετάξετε από ένα πράγμα πάνω από το σπίτι σας, πετάει λοιπόν ο Γερμανός ένα μαχαίρι, ο Ισπανός ένα τσεκούρι και ο Πόντιος μια χειροβομβίδα. Κατεβαίνουν και πάνε σπίτι και βλέπει ο Γερμανός και λέει:
– “Γιατί κλαις μητέρα;”
– “Γιατί έπεσε ένα τσεκούρι και σκότωσε τον πατέρα.”
Πάει ο Ισπανός και λέει:
– “Γιατί κλαις μητέρα;”
– “Γιατί έπεσε ένα μαχαίρι και σκότωσε τον πατέρα.”
Πάει ο Πόντιος και λέει:
– “Γιατί γελάς πατέρα, γιατί έκλασε ο παππούς και ανατινάχτηκε το σπίτι.”

Την εποχή που ο Σημίτης ήταν πρωθυπουργός και επικρατούσε η ανεργία ο Γιωρίκας και ο Κωστίκας ήταν άνεργοι. Έτσι αποφάσισαν να πάνε στη Γερμανία. Όμως υπήρχε ένα πρόβλημα.
Κωστίκας: “Αφού δε ξέρουμε γερμανικά πως θα πάμε στη Γερμανία ρε Γιωρίκα;
Γιωρίκας: “Εγώ τα μαθαίνω γρήγορα τα γερμανικά μη στεναχωριέσαι.”
Έτσι πήγαν στη Γερμανία. Εκεί με τα χίλια ζόρια τελικά βρήκαν δουλειά. Πέρασε η μέρα και λογικό ήταν να πεινάσουν. Έτσι πήγαν σε ένα εστιατόριο. Όμως δεν ξέρανε γερμανικά.
Κωστίκας: “Αφού δε ξέρουμε γερμανικά πως θα παραγγείλουμε;”
Γιωρίκας: “Εγώ τα έμαθα τα γερμανικά μη φοβάσαι.”
Έρχεται λοιπόν ο σερβιτόρος και λέει ο Γιωρίκας:
– “θέλω ένα πατατόφ, ένα μπιφτεκόφ, ένα μπριζολόφ και ένα σουβλακόφ.”
Τα γράφει λοιπόν ο σερβιτόρος. Περνάει λίγη ώρα και τα φέρνει… λέει λοιπόν ο Κωστίκας:
– “Μπράβο ρε Γιωρίκα όντως τα έμαθες τα γερμανικά.”
Και τότε γυρνάει ο σερβιτόρος και λέει:
– “Αν δεν ήμουνα ελληνόφ θα τρώγατε σκατατόφ!”

Ένας πόντιος πιάνει δουλειά σε ένα σούπερ – μάρκετ . Κάποιος πελάτης τον πλησιάζει και του λέει :
Σε παρακαλώ κόψε μου ένα τέταρτο σαλάμι .
Ο πόντιος αρχίζει να κόβει την μία φέτα μετά την άλλη χωρίς να λέει να σταματήσει .
Τι θα γίνει ρε παλικάρι , ρωτάει ο πελάτης , ένα τέταρτο σου είπα .
Σιγά ρε φιλαράκο , του απαντά ο πόντιος , ούτε πέντε λεπτά δεν έχουν περάσει ακόμα !

Ο Γιωρίκας και ο Κωστίκας, φοιτητές, πηγαίνουν για προφορικές εξετάσεις.
Ο Γιωρίκας που ήταν πιο έξυπνος, μπαίνει πρώτος. Τον ρωτάει ο καθηγητής:
– Ποιος νικήθηκε στο Βατερλό;
– Ο Ναπολέων Βοναπάρτης.
– Πότε έγινε η άλωση της Κωνσταντινούπολης;
– Το 1453.
– Υπάρχει ζωή στον Αρη;
– Οι επιστήμονες το μελετούν.
Βγαίνοντας ο Γιωρίκας ψυθιρίζει στον Κωστίκα:
– “Ναπολέων Βοναπάρτης, 1453, Οι επιστήμονες το μελετούν”.
Μόλις μπαίνει ο Κωστίκας τον ρωτάει ο καθηγητής:
– Πώς λέγεσαι παιδί μου;
– Ναπολέων Βοναπάρτης.
– Πότε γεννήθηκες;
– Το 1453.
– Καλά τρελός είσαι;
– Οι επιστήμονες το μελετούν.

PASADENA, Calif. — Experiments prompted by a 2008 surprise from NASA’s Phoenix Mars Lander suggest that soil examined by NASA’s Viking Mars landers in 1976 may have contained carbon-based chemical building blocks of life.

“This doesn’t say anything about the question of whether or not life has existed on Mars, but it could make a big difference in how we look for evidence to answer that question,” said Chris McKay of NASA’s Ames Research Center, Moffett Field, Calif. McKay coauthored a study published online by the Journal of Geophysical Research – Planets, reanalyzing results of Viking’s tests for organic chemicals in Martian soil.

The only organic chemicals identified when the Viking landers heated samples of Martian soil were chloromethane and dichloromethane — chlorine compounds interpreted at the time as likely contaminants from cleaning fluids. But those chemicals are exactly what the new study found when a little perchlorate — the surprise finding from Phoenix — was added to desert soil from Chile containing organics and analyzed in the manner of the Viking tests.

“Our results suggest that not only organics, but also perchlorate, may have been present in the soil at both Viking landing sites,” said the study’s lead author, Rafael Navarro-González of the National Autonomous University of Mexico, Mexico City.

Organics can come from non-biological or biological sources. Many meteorites raining onto Mars and Earth for the past 5 billion years contain organics. Even if Mars has never had life, scientists before Viking anticipated that Martian soil would contain organics from meteorites.

“The lack of organics was a big surprise from the Vikings,” McKay said. “But for 30 years we were looking at a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing. Phoenix has provided the missing piece: perchlorate. The perchlorate discovery by Phoenix was one of the most important results from Mars since Viking.” Perchlorate, an ion of chlorine and oxygen, becomes a strong oxidant when heated. “It could sit there in the Martian soil with organics around it for billions of years and not break them down, but when you heat the soil to check for organics, the perchlorate destroys them rapidly,” McKay said.

This interpretation proposed by Navarro-González and his four co-authors challenges the interpretation by Viking scientists that Martian organic compounds were not present in their samples at the detection limit of the Viking experiment. Instead, the Viking scientists interpreted the chlorine compounds as contaminants. Upcoming missions to Mars and further work on meteorites from Mars are expected to help resolve this question.

The Curiosity rover that NASA’s Mars Science Laboratory mission will deliver to Mars in 2012 will carry the Sample Analysis at Mars (SAM) instrument provided by NASA Goddard Space Flight Center, Greenbelt, Md. In contrast to Viking and Phoenix, Curiosity can rove and thus analyze a wider variety of rocks and samples. SAM can check for organics in Martian soil and powdered rocks by baking samples to even higher temperatures than Viking did, and also by using an alternative liquid-extraction method at much lower heat. Combining these methods on a range of samples may enable further testing of the new report’s hypothesis that oxidation by heated perchlorates that might have been present in the Viking samples was destroying organics.

One reason the chlorinated organics found by Viking were interpreted as contaminants from Earth was that the ratio of two isotopes of chlorine in them matched the three-to-one ratio for those isotopes on Earth. The ratio for them on Mars has not been clearly determined yet. If it is found to be much different than Earth’s, that would support the 1970s interpretation.

If organic compounds can indeed persist in the surface soil of Mars, contrary to the predominant thinking for three decades, one way to search for evidence of life on Mars could be to check for types of large, complex organic molecules, such as DNA, that are indicators of biological activity. “If organics cannot persist at the surface, that approach would not be wise, but if they can, it’s a different story,” McKay said.

The Phoenix mission was led by Principal Investigator Peter H. Smith of the University of Arizona, Tucson, with project management at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, Calif. The Phoenix finding of perchlorate was reported by JPL’s Michael Hecht and co-authors. JPL, a division of the California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, also manages Mars Science Laboratory for the NASA Exploration Missions Directorate, Washington.

Γιατί οι πόντιοι κάνουν γενέθλια μόνο στους γιούς και όχι στις κόρες;
Επειδή το τραγούδι λέει happy birthday του γιού.

Ο λοχίας στους στρατιώτες :
– Σε λίγο θα έρθει ο λοχαγός . Προσοχή στραβάδια ! Αν σας ρωτήσει : ” πόσων χρόνων είστε ” θα πείτε 22 , ” πόσα χρόνια υπηρετείτε ” θα πείτε 2 , ” ποιο
φαγητό σας αρέσει , τα φασόλια ή το κρέας ” θα πείτε και τα δύο . Έρχεται ο λοχαγός και ρωτά ένα στρατιώτη που ήταν Πόντιος :
– Πόσα χρόνια υπηρετείς παιδί μου ;
– Είκοσι δύο λοχαγέ μου .
– Είκοσι δύο ; Και πόσο χρονών είσαι ;
– Δύο …
– Δύο ; Μα δεν μου λες με περνάς για τρελό ή για ηλίθιο ;
– Και τα δύο λοχαγέ μου .

After undergoing a major overhaul and upgrades, the Boeing / NASA X-48B Blended Wing Body research aircraft resumed flight tests with a checkout flight Sept. 21 from NASA’s Dryden Flight Research Center at Edwards Air Force Base, Calif.

The subscale, manta ray-shaped, remotely piloted airplane, also called a hybrid wing body, is a tool of NASA’s new Environmentally Responsible Aviation, or ERA, project. ERA aims to develop the technology needed to create quieter, cleaner, and more fuel-efficient airplanes for the future.

After completion of its first phase of flight testing, the airplane was disassembled for a complete inspection and refurbishment. This new series of flight tests will focus on additional parameter identification investigations following installation and checkout of a new flight computer. The parameter identification work will evaluate the new computer’s control of the aircraft’s flight control surfaces and the airplane’s performance.

In addition to NASA and Boeing, the X-48B team includes Cranfield Aerospace Ltd. in the United Kingdom, and the U.S. Air Force Research Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

The team completed the 80th and last flight of the project’s first phase on March 19, 2010, almost three years after the X-48B’s first flight on July 20, 2007.

NASA-Funded Research Discovers Life Built With Toxic Chemical

NASA-funded astrobiology research has changed the fundamental knowledge about what comprises all known life on Earth.

Researchers conducting tests in the harsh environment of Mono Lake in California have discovered the first known microorganism on Earth able to thrive and reproduce using the toxic chemical arsenic. The microorganism substitutes arsenic for phosphorus in its cell components.

“The definition of life has just expanded,” said Ed Weiler, NASA’s associate administrator for the Science Mission Directorate at the agency’s Headquarters in Washington. “As we pursue our efforts to seek signs of life in the solar system, we have to think more broadly, more diversely and consider life as we do not know it.”

This finding of an alternative biochemistry makeup will alter biology textbooks and expand the scope of the search for life beyond Earth. The research is published in this week’s edition of Science Express.

Carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, phosphorus and sulfur are the six basic building blocks of all known forms of life on Earth. Phosphorus is part of the chemical backbone of DNA and RNA, the structures that carry genetic instructions for life, and is considered an essential element for all living cells.

Phosphorus is a central component of the energy-carrying molecule in all cells (adenosine triphosphate) and also the phospholipids that form all cell membranes. Arsenic, which is chemically similar to phosphorus, is poisonous for most life on Earth. Arsenic disrupts metabolic pathways because chemically it behaves similarly to phosphate.

“We know that some microbes can breathe arsenic, but what we’ve found is a microbe doing something new — building parts of itself out of arsenic,” said Felisa Wolfe-Simon, a NASA Astrobiology Research Fellow in residence at the U.S. Geological Survey in Menlo Park, Calif., and the research team’s lead scientist. “If something here on Earth can do something so unexpected, what else can life do that we haven’t seen yet?”

The newly discovered microbe, strain GFAJ-1, is a member of a common group of bacteria, the Gammaproteobacteria. In the laboratory, the researchers successfully grew microbes from the lake on a diet that was very lean on phosphorus, but included generous helpings of arsenic. When researchers removed the phosphorus and replaced it with arsenic the microbes continued to grow. Subsequent analyses indicated that the arsenic was being used to produce the building blocks of new GFAJ-1 cells.

The key issue the researchers investigated was when the microbe was grown on arsenic did the arsenic actually became incorporated into the organisms’ vital biochemical machinery, such as DNA, proteins and the cell membranes. A variety of sophisticated laboratory techniques was used to determine where the arsenic was incorporated.

The team chose to explore Mono Lake because of its unusual chemistry, especially its high salinity, high alkalinity, and high levels of arsenic. This chemistry is in part a result of Mono Lake’s isolation from its sources of fresh water for 50 years.

The results of this study will inform ongoing research in many areas, including the study of Earth’s evolution, organic chemistry, biogeochemical cycles, disease mitigation and Earth system research. These findings also will open up new frontiers in microbiology and other areas of research.

“The idea of alternative biochemistries for life is common in science fiction,” said Carl Pilcher, director of the NASA Astrobiology Institute at the agency’s Ames Research Center in Moffett Field, Calif. “Until now a life form using arsenic as a building block was only theoretical, but now we know such life exists in Mono Lake.”

The research team included scientists from the U.S. Geological Survey, Arizona State University in Tempe, Ariz., Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in Livermore, Calif., Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Penn., and the Stanford Synchroton Radiation Lightsource in Menlo Park, Calif.

NASA’s Astrobiology Program in Washington contributed funding for the research through its Exobiology and Evolutionary Biology program and the NASA Astrobiology Institute. NASA’s Astrobiology Program supports research into the origin, evolution, distribution, and future of life on Earth.